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If you are not from Bournemouth and you are thinking of having a stag weekend in town, by all means come down, but whatever you do, do not set foot in the shithole that is called “Toko”. This place is an absolute pit. I have never had a good night there, the drinks prices are ridiculous, chances of getting served are slim to Ethiopian, and to top it off the place really smells so badly that it makes my downstairs toilet seem like paradise.

For some reason last Friday (I must have been pissed), I walked into Toko at 3am and as soon as I went in there was this disgusting aroma of man puke and sweat. It started off as a relatively “high class” venue back in the day, but now unfortunately it has gone down the cess-pit route. I just sent this letter to them….

“I went out last Friday night and walked in to Toko, only to have to walk out 20 seconds later, due to the unbelievably disgusting smell of sweat, puke, and disinfectant.

Is there any way this can be dealt with. I’d have been willing to have bought a number of drinks and spend more nights there if this evil smell wasn’t there. It makes me want them to bring back smoking in enclosed spaces.

It also makes me slightly concerned that a lot of your trogolodite customers don’t have a sense of smell.

Surely opening the doors in the daytime, doing a deep carpet clean, and a good old polish elsewhere would really help to make this venue more approachable.

There is definitely life in the old dog yet… I just wish it didn’t smell like one.

I’ll let you know if I get a response…